7 Things You Should Know Before Dating a North American
Set clear expectations and jump in!
As a south American woman, I am passionate. Even though I have always lied to myself, saying, “love is overestimated,” I have always found myself jumping from one relationship to another, seeking love (and failing miserably).
I moved to Canada to finish my Ph.D., and that was my only goal. People back home kept saying, “You will find your prince charming up North and never come back.” As a nerd, I always answered that I wouldn’t have time to meet someone or dedicate myself to a relationship. Well, here I am, finishing my studies indeed… but also about to get married to a Canadian!
Instead of avoiding disappointments — I tried setting the right expectations.
These tips are for all those who are single and open to new adventures but don’t know what to expect from north Americans. Or for anyone who met a charming North American but is still figuring your relationship out. Embracing a new culture is everything, and learning how to deal with it in advance can make your experience much better.
#1 Flirting — or should I say, not flirting?
Canadians are not big on flirting. Sometimes it may seem like they have never met a woman before. It is improbable that a man will come to talk to you the first time you met.
If he does, your first contact may be timid and subtle. They usually use social media to make the first approach and, if brave enough, ask you on a date.
My personal experience: I met him at a bar. I think it was the day I got drunk the most while I am in Canada. He is 1.9m, so it was very easy to notice him dancing in front of the DJ. He looked very funny, with no coordination. As a good South American woman, I started giving him some looks. Soon enough I was by his side, ready to make the first move. It was loud, my thick accent didn’t help the conversation flow. In Canada, the bars close at 2 am, and everyone is sent home (lights are on, drinks are not served… the night is over). Just like Cinderella, it was 1:50 am and my friends took me home. What next? I didn’t leave my crystal shoes for him to find me. We didn’t even exchange phone numbers or social media. Luckily enough, one of my colleagues used the only info I got to find him on Facebook: his FIRST name. Long story short, he invited me to go on a proper date, where we could sit, talk, and know each other better.
#2 Going on a date — or two, three…
He will pick you up, take you somewhere nice, and that is it! Men in Canada are careful when it comes to physical contact. Sexual harassment is taken very seriously, and any sign of boundary-crossing can implicate severe measures.
So don’t expect the man to be all over you, even if you think you are giving him all the “to go” signs. If you are interested in a North American man, you should consider making the first move, even giving him the first kiss!
Some may think it is dull or too slow. I would say they know how to be true gentlemen.
My personal experience: We went to three different nice restaurants. I knew he was trying to impress me. His intention was to show how much he cared, and that he didn’t just want to go to a bar, get drunk and get laid. Every day was better than the other, but… was he ever going to kiss me? After the third date, he invited me over to watch series. My first thought was “yes! Today is the day”. It turned out he actually meant watch series. We sat in front of the TV for almost 2 hours and no signs of physical contact. Well, I had to take action. Yes, my friends, I went and give him our first kiss! And that is how everything started.
#3 PDA — Canadians worst nightmare
Public display of affection (PDA) is almost nonexistent in Canada. Even friends barely hug each other, and privacy is very highly rated.
When it comes to romantic relationships, this is not different. Don’t expect a kiss as a greeting or hugs when you sit beside each other at a bar table. To go for a walk holding hands is rare.
Don’t get me wrong, Canadian men can be warm and affectionate, as long as you are alone and not in a public place.
My personal experience: We had to have “the talk”. Every time we went to a restaurant, he sat in front of me. I understand that this is the traditional way, and maybe the correct one (?). But as a passionate South American woman, I need to touch, I need warm. As I noticed he didn’t even know how to hold my hand while walking in the mall, I knew I had to speak out. I told him how PDA is not a big deal in my country, and that it is in fact pretty normal. From that moment on we start hugging and giving small and loving kisses everywhere we go.
#4 Cute nicknames — Ugh, why so cheesy?
Even though Canadians like to use romantic nicknames, they won’t admit it. When there is only the two of you, you may hear the sweetest nicknames ever.
However, if you have friends over, be aware that you will be called by your name. This may be part of their non-PDA culture, so don’t be offended.
My personal experience: We call each other baby since month two or three. We never say each other’s names. The first time I met his friends, I notice they were making fun of us. He didn’t even notice and kept calling me “baby” or “love”. But, as soon as they said it was cheesy, he automatically replaced the sweet nicknames for my name. Honestly, I didn’t care about that. I knew he was not ashamed of who we are, but he simply didn’t want to call everyone’s attention.
#5 Exclusivity warning
In some countries (certainly in South America), seeing people kissing or making out at a party in front of everyone is a typical scenario.
In Canada, as we learned, physical contact and demonstration of affection are not expected. In this way, for you to kiss someone will take some time. To reach the second base, of course, can take even longer.
So, if you are frequently going on dates with a Canadian man and seeing each other often, you may consider yourselves exclusive until further notice.
Don’t you want that? Tell him, otherwise you may find yourself in a relationship without even noticing.
My personal experience: We went to two dates before the Christmas. As you are already familiar with our story, we haven’t even kissed each other yet. He flew to his parents’ house and stayed there for ten days. While he was gone, he kept texting me, saying how good our dates were and how much he wanted to see me again. At first, I thought he was a player. In my mind, he was just keeping me on hold until he was back. But soon enough, he was back in town and we were seeing each other every single day for weeks! After a month and a half, I pretty much knew we were dating, even without saying it. At the end of February, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, and we have been happy ever since.
#6 Politeness — their best quality indeed
In general, Canadians are known to be polite. This is one of the biggest blessings of dating a Canadian man. They will treat you well and, most certainly, find the most courteous way to do everything — even when it comes to disagreeing. They won’t ever point out your mistake without wording it correctly. Also, you will be impressed by how communication flows and how peaceful your relationship will be.
My personal experience: He is a very perfectionist man. I always say he may have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Once I forgot to close the cheese bag and it went bad. Instead of saying “why didn’t you close it properly? Now we have no cheese for our burgers”, he said “Oh no, the cheese is moldy! Maybe next time we should check if the bag is fully close”. Can you see the difference between these two reactions? Trust me, the way phrases are worded can avoid many unnecessary disagreements.
#7 He may be your prince charming
Trust me when I say, you may be surprised by how well you will be treated, how light and mature your relationship will be, and how much love they have to offer. If you are ready for a commitment and longing to give love one more try, consider a Canadian, eh!
My personal experience: I spend 10 years of my life jumping from one relationship to another. I met nice people along the way, but I always knew they were not “the one”. After being cheated on two years ago, I kinda gave up on dating. I had lost my trust in men and decided to be single forever (so I thought). When I first met him, I knew he was different. I have never been treated so well in my whole life. I truly fell like a princess every day he is by my side. So I went from a girl who abolished relationships to a passionate fionce who is looking forward to spending her whole life with her beloved one.
Did you have a different experience? Let me know! I would love to read your story.
